Sandwichgate marks takeover of choice
Posted 1 year ago at 10:29 am. 0 comments
RnB croonster Ne-Yo ”hit me up” on my “celly” in the early hours of this morning (poor lad can never figure out the timezones) to ask my advice on which flat-screen TV he should purchase for his “crib”. After an hilarious mix-up involving baby cots that went on for at least an hour, we eventually got down to the fact that he was looking for something suitably “bling” in the $2,500 to $3,500 bracket, preferably 48-inches or larger. Of course you don’t have to be a hit-record selling artiste to have trouble deciding on a new tech-toy; I’ve no doubt that many potential buyers have found themselves unpleasantly moist-palmed at the thought of differentiating between dozens of products that ostensibly seem the same.
Choice, then, is crippling us. Once upon a time there were only two choices facing us: plague or no-plague, and only the masochistic or confused went for the former. Now, if you wander into your local plague emporium, you’re faced with bubonic, Ebola-based or any number of genetically-modified derivatives for 100% of the fresh plague taste you love but with only half the calories. A telemarketer tried to sell me a pox very low on the glycemic index last week, and wouldn’t get off the phone until I’d listened to his entire spiel about how own-brand supermarket diseases have been shown to be bulked with inverted sugar syrup.
In fact it seems that the big chain foodstores can do no right at the moment. Only this past Friday did the British media frot themselves into a frenzy of gnashed cellophane at the news that some ready-made sandwiches contain as much salt as eight bags of crisps (that’s chips for my American friends, and кексы for any Russians reading). Jim Winship, director of the British Sandwich Association, balefully retorted that “meat is salty” while saving his tears to pour over a prawn-mayo baguette he was making for some small children.
